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When's the last time you read about a
fishing trip where the heroic writer got skunked? Have you seen a
fishing show where the heroes didn't catch anything? Probably not, but
it happens, and often indeed. That's fine, folks have expanded their
results since anglers grew arms to spread. In fact, I consider
"catch and release" results limited only by the angler's
imagination and the listener's gullibility.
After over 30 years, 35 books and several
thousand fishing articles I'm rather tired of all the hype. Fishing
isn't about results, it's about recreation. At least such is the case
for those who have challenge and risk in their lives. Fishing is
supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be relaxing. It's supposed to be a
democratic activity that all can enjoy. You really don't need 50 rods,
ten or so are enough and I've yet to see an artificial that catches as
many fish as bait save, or course, for those tiny flies used by anglers
in search of anchovy to sardine-sized trout.
I've been there and done that. I've
caught billfish, bonefish, salmon, steelhead, sturgeon and thousands of
exotic fish in remote and usually either uncomfortable or inconvenient
climes. So what do I do to fish for fun? Simple. I either pick up my
light fly outfit with its #14 Elk Hair Caddis and catch brook trout from
a local creek, or grab some worms and a long bait rod to catch crappie
or bluegills. And I live midway between 20-pound B-run steelhead in the
Snake and Clearwater Rivers and the 20 pound pike in Coeur d'Alene Lake.
But I've learned to keep it simple and, above all, never travel more
hours than you can fish.
Unfortunately, today's specialists all
insist only they own the keys to the piscatorial kingdom. Fly fishers -
and I've done this for 50 years - seem as narrow minded as all true
believers. I don't mind the holier-than-thou attitude, I just note that
dry fly fishing does remove a third of the challenge of "real
fishing" by reducing a three-dimensional sport to two dimensions
and in a small stream it's as close to a no-brainer as dunking worms for
bluegills..
I don't even mind the "bug
species" nonsense and all the other prating of the instantly
expert. Instead, I make some rather nice spare change showing how I can
catch more fish faster with a cane pole and stump grubs and hook every
fish in the lip. Bah, humbug, give me a little creek filled with brook
trout that fit in a frying pan and I'm happy. Fortunately, I live in
Idaho where everyone fishes the politically correct trophy waters for
trout or steelhead and leaves the small streams to old, fat guys
Bass anglers of the bigger is better
boat, tackle box, motor and tournament flavor that always wants to fish
the other end of the reservoir may be worse. At least fly flingers don't
zoom past my canoe at 85 knots! Unfortunately, there's a myth that you
need all that high technology to catch a relatively stupid fish like a
bass. Such simply isn't the case. Don't forget the world record bass was
taken from a 50-cent boat on a dollar lure and eaten for dinner.
Consider live minnows and ponds and you'll catch bass without all that
racket. Even smarter folks catch smallmouth from rivers or creeks and
eat one now and then.
Even better, consider panfish. Worms and
a simple rig should get you all the crappie, bluegills -
"brim" is War Between the States country, warmouth,
pumpkinseeds and whatever. And all of these taste better than most trout
and all "truck" or hatchery trout.
Saltwater fishing may be the worse case
of angling excess. Billfishing at $600 a day and, according to the
Hawaiian Islands Fish and Game Folks, "11 trips on average per
billfish" seems sufficiently Veblanesque for the richest of the
rich. Here too you sweat all day to catch a fish that's now probably
released so it can swim off and come to a bad end by way of a Japanese
long liner. Still, with a captain, mate, deckhand and, often,
"gofer" on board, this does employ locals.
Saltwater carp fishing, a.k.a.
bonefishing, is another case in point. Bonefish are stupid and very easy
to catch in deep water on bait, but get spooky on the shallow flats. So
that's the PC place to catch them with flies so your rod can spook the
fish and the $300 a day guide can tell you conditions were better
yesterday.. Stay home, use Italian dry flies - a.k.a. French bread
crusts - and you'll have just as much fun.
Some fishing, like winter steelheading.
when you stand or float barely liquid water and your line freezes in the
guides, is simply so ridiculous that it's neither sensible nor, for
most, successful. Then, of course, there's ice fishing that's enriched
the vocabulary with terms like "being on thin ice."
Fishing is, you see, far to simple and
silly to deserve all this hype. Remember to fish near home so you can
get skunked without all that transportation time. Kids know this. Kids
can catch panfish with cane poles and bait at the nearest pond and have
a great time. Too bad most of us have lost the kid in us that keeps our
live simple. I suspect we'd all be better off taking a kid out after
panfish to recapture a time when all fish are big and the pleasure of
the day isn't tied to the results.
So what's a realistic result? Whatever
you get? With little fish like bluegills four to 10 an hour isn't bad -
that's several dozen fish on an average day. With trout a fish an hour
makes me smile and this is about the same for bass and most smaller
saltwater species.
Striped bass from the surf, steelhead or
salmon and all the bigger saltwater gamefish catches should be figured
on a "fish per week" basis. Bigger fish just take longer, but
with appropriate tackle aren't any more fun.
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